I am sure some of you are wondering why I would write a blog like this and I am just going to cover a lot of what I have been feeling lately and cover thoughts that I have tried to address over and over and over in my blogs in the past. This is all going to start with a little note that I was tagged in the other day on Facebook…..
Everyone that knows me KNOWS I hate to do the little question and answer notes or anything resembling them. I generally think they are a waste of time but I was tagged in one by Kiah and she is a very sweet girl so I went ahead and read what she had to say about me. The note was one that was very simple and gave us the option to say things about our friends that we might not always say in general because we always just figure they know that we feel these things.
I filled my notes out and tagged a few of my closest friends telling each the individual things about them that I loved. At this point I have only heard back from two of them but the things I heard were so touching that they made me cry. One of them described me as sarcastic, funny, strong and brilliant which I actually feel about myself (ok maybe brilliant is stretching it a little) but it is so nice to know that there are others that feel this too.
Then my other friend described the darker funky side of me. I think that people misconstrue our relationship somewhat, which causes fear and confusion as to who I really am. Once again read up above i.e. SARCASM, FUNNY, STRONG (as in strong personality) etc. The thing I don’t understand is why everyone is so scared of this side of me. It is not like I have changed the relationship that I have with each individual friend that I have. I have different relationships with different people because that is the way that I want it. I don’t want cookie cutter relationships/friendships and I am sure that none of you would want me to fit into that mold…HELL I think it might be a little scary to have every relationship the same or anyone else out there just like me.
Somewhere along the line people have forgotten what it is to be an American just like I said in my blog Freedom of Speech and I don’t know how many times I have to pound this into people’s heads. I have a right to say and do what I want as long as it is not illegal.
Some of the points I am trying to make are, that no matter whether I post photo albums full of provocative pics and questionable sexual preferences or I swear and talk about wanting to fuck Robert Pattinson, those things are irrelevant as to why you should love me and want to be my friend. Most of this stuff is done more in play and as a joke than anything else. I mean what is the infinitesimal chance of Robert Pattinson finding my Facebook page? Even if he did, I have a feeling he would probably find it more amusing that I had the balls to just say what I feel rather that if I had a bunch of crap like “OH Robert ~ I Loooooove you so much and want to marry you!!! Or should I say “Oh Edward……”
We already know how I feel about sex and I still don’t get why people think it is such a big fucking deal to talk about it. I write about it all over my comments with one of my friends, who is not shy about the subject either but ten to one just like me half of what she writes is more of a joke when it concerns the target of our affection than anything else. Verbalizing those things is not really a crime and sometimes I think if you can get it all out, you are much healthier in the long run. I know what my situation is; I had a husband for over 20 years and two fairly long term relationships before him. Do the math, I am NO SLUT, I just like sex and know a lot about it.
Just recently I literally had to get rid of over 70 of my friends on Facebook,
because I was still hearing complaints about my attitude and my notes. I guess more people were reading my notes than I thought because these are people who I didn’t even tag. They complained a lot about the subject matter and most recently it was my note about Kristen Stewart which can also be found here (all my notes can for that matter). If those ignorant fucks would have actually gone and read the note they might have actually seen it wasn’t aimed at her at all. It was aimed at her obsessive fans and why they either love her or hate her but that is neither here nor there, apparently I suck as a writer and my subject matter sucks. I guess I don’t write enough about happy little elves skipping through fields of daisies of some shit like that. If they want that I think they make a channel on satellite TV, ummm it’s fucking called DISNEY!!!
You know this wouldn’t have been that big of a problem but NOT ONE OF THEM had the spine to write in a comment in one of my notes or behind one of the things that offended them. It was always in a message. One by one I deleted them and finally just decided I was going to just do a major sweep of people who I was uncertain of so I could do away with all the bullshit.
So why is it so hard for people to just come out and communicate their feelings with us about what they dislike? Whether it is , language, or any other reason? I get so tired of being judged and trying to deal with shit because like I have said so many times before I have no intention of changing, but I am sure this is how the whole thing with Lamebook started and if you have no idea what I am talking about I wrote a blog about it. I shouldn’t have to change for anyone and if you truly are my friends and you truly love me like you say you do than none of this should matter, you should just accept me as I am just like I accept all of you.
If you take anything from this blog, it doesn’t have to necessarily be talking about me. These things can apply to anyone and if you are a true friend to someone let them be themselves and don’t judge them, communicate with them because if you can’t talk to your friends and all you can do is judge them for things that you don’t particularly agree with, what kind of friend are you?
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. Fr. Jerome Cummings
Peace, Love and Happiness ~ Nans