Dreams

This is from last summer…..

Well, tonight finds me here lying flat on my back. Of course I suppose thisdreamblog2 could be taken in a few ways, but get your mind out of the gutter and know I injured my back and don’t know how the hell I did it. My ex-husband thinks it might have been on my little adventure with Krista, because that is when it initially started hurting, but I don’t know, I just know it hurts and I want it to stop.

Anyway, when you are laid up with nothing better to do you tend to think about all kinds of stuff, kind of reflect on everything (as if I haven’t been doing that anyway). I laid there wondering how I got from point A to point B. I should actually call it point Z because there have been so many stops along the way.

The one thing I determined is that it all starts with a simple dream, so that is what I will write about tonight, dreams.

There are all kinds of dreams, dreams for the future, daydreams, dreams of grandeur and of course dreams when we sleep. I believe everyone starts with a simple dream and that is to be happy, I mean I have never heard of anyone dreaming of being miserable.

Dreams_by_AnnMeiWhen I was a child, I am sure that was my first dream, I don’t really remember, my family life was nothing special. I know when I was older I dreamed of being an architect. Had I worked hard enough I could possibly have had the chance to make it happen and go to my dad’s alma mater Stanford, but stupidity won out on that one.  I made some really dumb mistakes and constantly made poor choices.  I want to shoot myself now.

When I gave that dream up, or put it on hold, I again dreamed of happiness. I longed for that my whole life because I never really had it growing up. I used to always daydream that someone would come and take me away from all my misery and sadness as a teen and make me feel whole again. I’m still dreaming of that. I thought I had it for a long time, but it was a façade of nothing more than what I told myself it was, just to survive.

I think at one point we ALL have dreams of grandeur, don’t we? I mean how can we not? We all want to feel grand, important and magnificent at one time or another, so there is nothing wrong with dreaming about it.

Of course the most common thing people think of when they talk aboutThe_Magic_of_Dreams_by_seduced_by_the_sun dreams is the kind we have at night in our sleep. I myself have always had vivid dreams until lately. I am definitely dreaming, because I wake up and I have a feeling of contentment, but it is so strange not to know what I am dreaming of. Whatever it is, it has been going on for the last 5 or 6 months. Of course when I wake up it is back to the hell of my life, but for one sweet moment in time, I have something making me feel good.

So what do you dream about? I don’t have a lot of people who read this, but if you read this try and answer the question. You might be surprised at how far off course you have veered and/or given up those dreams completely.

Here’s to dreams, never give up on them no matter how weird or crazy they may seem to others. Don’t let anyone tell you that you will never accomplish or live out your dream. Don’t ever give up the dreams of grandeur, it never hurts to dream big and daydreaming, what can I say, I do it all the time. Night time dreams, may they be sweet and wonderful every night of your life because often that is the only time to experience the true happiness we all dreamed about in the very beginning thus bringing us full circle.

Sweet_blue_Dreams_by_Ruskatukka

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2 Comments

  1. The dreams I have are probably like most other peoples. I dream of my kids being happy, healthy and successful in whatever they choose to do with their life. I dream of one day never having to worry about finances and going from paycheck to paycheck. I dream of one day a cure being found for my diseases. I dream of being able to go back to work at my dream job that I once had. (i had to give it up due to my conditions). Ive not gotten tooooo far away from what I dreamed of growing up. One thing I did give up and had a passion for and should have pursued it but a situation came up that changed that course of my life.

    I was going to school to become a teacher but instead became a nurse. My family is filled with nurses from my mom to all my aunts. So, it was natural that I did the same and give up my dream of teaching. I worked in home health as a hospice nurse for a few yrs on the weekend while my husband kept our baby boy. I was blessed to be able to stay home with him thru the week. But, the stress of the job and watching people die just got to be too much. I then got pregnant again and decided to stop working all together. I stayed home to care for my children. Then I had the opportunity to go to work at the school they were attending. I was offered a job teaching the 4 yr old preschool class. They didnt require a teaching degree, only a college degree of some sort. I was honored. This is a private school in our community and very well respected. And I got to be part of it! I finally had my dream job. Then my illness hit and I had to stop working after being there almost 6 yrs. During that time I had 3 major surgeries and then diagnosed with my diseases. My doctor thinks that I might be able to return to work next fall if the treatment I am on continues to work. We are hopeful, so right now that is probably my #1 dream. But, If for some reason it doesnt happen I can still look back and say that one of my dreams came true. I stood in front of a classroom and taught children, even if it was a short period of time.

    Always hold on to your dreams. Its what keeps us going sometimes….

    *Survivor*

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    • I am so happy that you were able to have your dream job and believe that you will be able to return to that job soon. The power of positive thinking goes a long way. I never really knew what my dream was after my separation from my husband. I was just hanging in the wind not knowing what my purpose in life would be, I had 3 major surgeries and nothing really going for me and then I remembered how much I loved to write. I won awards in high school for creative writing and took classes in college and so I just started to write…and write and write. Here I am and now my dream I suppose is to become some sort of writer, whether it be just to continue doing this or maybe more but at least I am doing something I love to do. Survivor, whatever you do, hold on to your dreams no matter what is going on in your life or how hard it seems. We all go through things that seem impossible but when we let go of what we love, what do we have?? NOTHING.

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