Tonight I decided to write about a subject that I am sure is all too familiar to
anyone who will even look at this note. LOVE. I thought about writing it after doing one of those question/answer notes on Facebook that I did a few weeks ago. Two questions came up and I put a lot of thought into my answers because they were very important.
The first question was ~ What’s the worst way to say I love you? My answer was fairly simple and it is a simple philosophy that I actually believe. Answer ~ there is no bad way if you mean it, but too many people say it just in passing. It is something that should only be said when you really actually love someone, not just have little fuzzy feelings. There is a huge difference between “like a lot” and really loving someone!!
This made some people comment about my answer which I had really thought was just a simple thing that everyone should know and live by. I have very strong feelings about love for many reasons and I don’t understand why people just don’t get it. Love is a beautiful thing but too many people just don’t understand. They think they are in love the first time they have a little fuzzy warm feeling in their heart & then there are the people who just use “I love you” in every other sentence. It makes me sick. Love is an extremely powerful emotion, its commitment, joy, it’s tender and passionate and even painful sometimes.
There is an intimacy involved and deep longing desire. Love is extremely powerful; it can be irresistible and people are often bound to pursue those they feel that they love. It can be sensual yet unconditional. For me I have felt so empty and almost in pain when I’ve been away from the person I loved, it was like someone sucking the air out of me and I couldn’t breathe.
Too many people equate love with “strongly like” or “lust”. They assume that because they are extremely “sexually attracted” to someone or they “strongly like” them that they MUST be in love. When you say the words “I love you”, you need to have the desire to show someone that you love them, not what you simply want to feel. When you say it, make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for the one you love, because love should never be taken lightly it is the most important thing we will ever feel in our lives.
I will speak of a different kind of “love” which is not actually love at all but we see it more and more everyday concerning one of my favorite guys and possibly one of your’s too. It’s no secret that I ALWAYS tease that I am in “love” with Robert Pattinson, but I think any of you that actually know me, know that is just plain ridiculous and no matter how much I admire him, LOVE is just not something I would or could ever feel for someone I have never met. I am just not that crazy ~ BUT, there are plenty of females out there that I have read their blogs and even received messages, notes and comments from that truly believe that they are in love with him and if it isn’t him, it is David Cook or Adam Lambert (which kills me because he is so gay, but I digress). I feel this is nothing more than an “obsession” but some I suppose could call it “unrequited love” which refers to those feelings of love that are not returned.
Then there is “love at first sight” which I whole heartedly believe in although I have never really experienced it. Love at first sight is usually explained as sudden immediate feelings for someone. Unfortunately, this does not always work two ways as I explained with “unrequited love” and sometimes the loved person that we desire can drive us into a state of depression, even causing illness in extreme cases. Occasionally, the ones we love or “objects of our desire”, because of their beauty, feel like more of a curse than the intense joy we should feel with true love, which once again we should consider to be obsessions.
Of course not all love at first sight is a bad thing. Sometimes it might just be that you find that perfect someone, or your “soul mate”. *A soul mate is someone with whom we have a feeling of deep and natural love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and compatibility. Some think of it as the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate mate, the one and only other half of one’s soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join.
*One theory of soul mates, presented by Aristophanes in Plato’s Symposium, is that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them: Some people believe that souls are literally made and/or fated to be the mates of each other, or to play certain other important roles in each other’s lives. Others believe that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or “separation from God”. Over countless reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.
So, there is no better feeling than the one of first love. I am not talking about the little fuzzy feelings, sexual attraction or infatuation that you feel as stated above. I am talking about the real deal. The L word LOVE ~ you know the one. Most people consider everyone to have had their first love in their teen years but that is not always really love. That falls under the classification once again of fuzzy feelings, sexual attraction and even obsession. Some people don’t actually find that real love until they are much older. I have friends in their 20’s that have finally experienced true first love. This is the love that feels so strong you sometimes feel like you would rather die than be away from the one you love. Does this sound like obsession, well kind of but it’s not, I assure you. There is a certain gravitational pull that two lovers have to each other especially when it is their first experience with love.
Then there is something that is probably one of the most important things in my life right now and that is the love between friends. Love is usually contrasted with friendship, but it can be connected to close friendships in certain situations. It is stronger than simply liking someone. It generally refers to a “pure,” ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction. Most often this type of love is more of an appreciation of the beauty within that person and requires loyalty towards one another. Some have thought that love of a friend is divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing and one that cares about the well-being of another. There is a tenderness and emotional closeness to those that we trust and love, those who are the very best friends that feel like family.
You know we think about love, we dream about it and even lose sleep worrying about it. We search for it when we don’t realize we already have it. When we discover we do, we never know what to do with it. When we have it, we’re afraid we’ll lose it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain and we never know how we will feel from moment to moment. For such a small simple word, it is difficult to define & IMPOSSIBLE to live without.
” If I had to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU.” ~ unknown
“Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never… ever forget it.” ~ unknown
last but not least my favorite quote ~
“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” ~ unknown
*all info on soul mates was found at Wikipedia