“What you don’t see is are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction”. “The photos are so…I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped.”
Today I don’t even know where to begin. The other day something was brought to my attention that not only shocked me but made me sick and horrified me. Someone brought me a quote that was made in an interview by Kristen Stewart to Elle magazine. Now you are probably asking what anyone could say that could be that bad and wonder why I am being so dramatic. Here is the part of the quote that stuck out in my head concerning how it feels when she is chased by the paparazzi ‘The photos are so…I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped.” So basically she is comparing being chased by photographers which is a part of every celebrity’s life, like having to view someone being sexually violated.
After reading that statement I immediately started crying and shaking. I started having a full blown panic attack and found myself in a blind rage. You see 24 years ago I was the victim of sexual assault. As hard as this is to write it is important for people to hear and it is cathartic in a way because it is really not something that I ever talked about with anyone but my ex-husband whom I met about a year after the incident and now I have spoken to a few close friends because of this thing that Kristen has done.
With those flippant words that seemed to mean nothing to Kristen, she brings something back up to the surface that I managed to bury a long fucking time ago. You know how they say what lies beneath? Well, it has always been there but I managed to deal with it because I am strong. I know this seems over dramatic but with her words I don’t feel strong anymore, I feel angry, weak, hurt, emotional and broken all over again.
Yes, I am one of the millions of women that felt she could handle it all on her own. Of course this was after having a complete meltdown and trying to kill myself right after it happened. Clearly I didn’t die, but I did manage to bury all this pain and try to deal with it on my own like so many girls my age did because seriously, who wants to tell anyone about something so disgusting and demeaning? For some reason we all think it is our fault or at least I did.
When I read those words, it put me right back to Christmas 1986 and it felt like the moments right after I was attacked and I feel so sick. I’ve actually lost sleep the last two nights over it. I woke up no less than 5 times and I even got up and threw up once. I thought if maybe I closed my eyes and thought of good things, everything would be OK but all I saw was that bitch mocking everyone, y’know rolling her eyes and the annoying shit she does all the time sans the bitchface? After 24 years you would think that I could hold this together but I couldn’t. I just kept crying and crying.
Now for all of my critics of this blog that call me a Kristen Stewart hater that say she shouldn’t have so much power over my life, you are probably right, she shouldn’t. Honestly, I am not sure that it is HER that has the power but her stupid and sickening words that seem to have power over me right now and it is almost as bad as being raped again. I won’t lie; the fact that she said those words though does make it worse.
I am going to tell you why it makes it worse. I am sure you all think you have it all figured out, don’t you? It is all about Robsten or Robert Pattinson or their Krisbian psycho fans? NOT EVEN CLOSE. She is a raging hypocrite. When she was something like 13 she starred in a movie called “Speak” about the very subject that she made such a flippant remark about. She played the victim of this heinous crime and she actually did not do a bad job, and considering it was Kristen Stewart that is saying a lot. For a wooden actress that rivals Pinocchio in talent, she seems to be fairly convincing in this movie. Of course this is before she decided she was just too good for all of us “retards” and had her head so far up her ass it will take the jaws of life to get it out. The thing is, not only did she make the movie Speak but she also made a PSA for date rape on college campuses a few years ago, so what the fuck was she thinking making an asinine comment like this?
You know we all know that Kristen Stewart must have a sucky life making millions of dollars and living a life that so many would kill for as I have stated before. So what, she has a few fucking cameras shoved in her face and they chase her down, but I guarantee her they DO NOT equate to watching one person putting a knife to a woman’s throat while another holds a gun to them, then watching them as they have their head slammed into a wall so hard they are almost rendered unconscious but yet conscious enough to know exactly what is happening to them as they are being pinned down and someone is forcing themselves on them, during all of this they are being beat into submission and having the most vile violent and unspeakable things happening to them while someone else watches. The paparazzi say some shitty things to get your attention and they take a picture. If they chase you it is because you won’t stop and let them take the motherfucking picture. Kristen has the disposition of a piranha, the
only difference is I think the piranha might smile more so the papz would probably just take the picture and leave so it wouldn’t have to “endure viewing someone being raped”. The reason they chase her is her own fault, you know her little cat and mouse game of “keeping something for herself” which is actually more like “Keeping NOTHING for yourself and keeping her ass in the limelight”. For her to equate any part of the paparazzi being anywhere near her to watching a rape occurring is vile, contemptible, selfish, stupid and ignorant. The fact that her fans are so dumb to defend her shows how much of a negative influence she has on them.
It was bad enough when she made underage drinking and smoking of cigarettes AND pot seem cool to these girls but now they are defending such an odious remark and saying that the word rape in any context is no big deal? I don’t give a shit if you asked to be a role model girlie, you are fucking stuck with it and now you need to own it. These are 12 – 14 year old girls that are thinking rape is not a big deal. Well guess what, when it is them being pinned down or grabbed at knife point and slammed against a wall by the neck until they are almost unconscious, they might think it is a little bigger deal than they make it out to be (they only think it is nothing because of the way you said it).
RAPE IS A BIG DEAL
It is not something that just happens and you get over it just like that. You never truly get over it but you can learn to deal with it. For me I could barely be near a man for the next year and God forbid if one touched me. I have to say honestly, I am still afraid to be someplace by myself if it is just me and a man that I don’t know and I am startled by the slightest thing and panic when I do get startled. I am sure that anyone that has read many of my blogs or more precisely my blog about sex is going to raise an eyebrow after reading this because to some people it just won’t add up but until this wound was ripped back open; I had made peace with it. Like I said in the blog, I had a man that made me realize that sex was not sickening or evil and I could enjoy having it. I thank God I met someone like my ex-husband who was able to deal with what I had been through because I don’t know if I could have ever gotten to the place that I am today or was a few days ago (before this bullshit happened) sexually had it not been for him. Now it is like everything I have been able to deal with, how normal and alright with myself I had been able to become FINALLY, is just thrown out the window with one stupid remark because that old wound has been ripped open by some stupid little girl with no concept of what she speaks and whose mouth always has to be running to see what kind of reaction she can get out of her “fans”..
Kristen needs to apologize and I am not talking about some fluff piece statement that someone writes up for her, she needs to go up in front of god and everyone BY HERSELF in front of all those “rapists” via press conference and give a formal apology for her words, because that is what we all deserve as women whether we have been assaulted or not. The problem is that Kristen Stewart does not see the wrong in her actions. She never does, she thinks that she is perfect and above all of us peons, so why should she apologize to any of us? I mean we are just victims of the atrocious crime in which she equates her sad existence of dealing with a few guys running after her with cameras. Well Kristen if you truly think that, you are a sad excuse for a human being. There is no defending this and no matter what anyone says or no matter how her team tries to spin this, she said the words, she
meant it the way they came out and she is a bitch plain and simple. She did it to get attention and I don’t think she realized just what kind of attention she was going to get. Well Kristen for a fameseeking whore, you got exactly what you wanted in this interview but it just didn’t go quite the way you expected it to now did it? Now if I was ever accused of this being Kristen Stewart Hate site, guess what…whether anyone wants to believe it, it never was before but…it now is. I will never again try and look for any good in her, I will never pity her for the fucked up obsessed Krisbian fans she has because in my eyes she actually deserves them and much worse. She went WAY over the line this time and if she ever needed to be held accountable, it is right at this moment, a fucking group of CIA “cleaners” couldn’t make this mess go away. She fucked herself, Summit Entertainment, The Twi Saga and more than likely Rob (because he is linked to her whether he likes it or not) plain and simple. It may not be fair to the rest of them but this time, I am glad it is finally coming back to bite her in the ass, quite frankly. Anyone that
reads this please turn me in to @Twilight like you all constantly threaten to do, I am truly begging you to. I will gladly let them see how much hate I have for her this time, it’s not like I am outside of my 1st amendment rights anyway. Let her come to my site and read what she has done to me and so many others with her vitriolic comments and if by some chance her “boyfriend” Rob comes here and thinks I am the most disgusting piece of filth on the planet which I am sure you Krisbians will no doubt think, LET HIM because if he defends her words in any way shape or form, then in my eyes, he is the biggest
douchebag on earth. If you fans don’t like it, you can fuck right off because it is doubtful that any of you know what I have suffered through in my life. No one that has been through this kind of violent act can make excuses for her words no matter how obsessed they are or lust after her. As if having to have three brain surgeries and having my kid get struck by lightning in the last three years wasn’t bad enough she had to go and dredge up something I thought was dead and buried long ago and there is nice cozy place in hell waiting for you, Stewie.
For the record, I have no plans on writing about Kristen Stewart from here on out. There is a possibility I might because she is a relevant subject and does so many stupid things it is hard not to find something to write about but to me she is lower than pond scum and therefore not worth wasting my precious time writing about unless something life shattering happens in the Robsten world.
BRING ON THE HATEFUL COMMENTS IN, 4…3…2…1….
* I just now read another quote from the article and now I don’t know whether to laugh or get pissed again. Is there any end to this girls woe is me pity party complex?? Here’s the quote:
“It really bothers me when people write nasty shit about me and the perception is that I don’t give a fuck. It could not be further from the truth,”
Sure thing Sweetie but it is OK to call your fans RETARDS among other things…GOOD TRY KRISSY.
I’m dedicating this song to our favorite bitchface since she loves to have her picture taken so much. See Kris, you can still express what you are feeling without actually saying anything. The most controversial and outspokan woman on Earth didn’t even have to call it rape. She showed how intrusive and annoying it can be but in the end she also showed that you all love it and it’s what keeps you in the spotlight.