Well, we are fast approaching the day of love…yeah right. The day of commercialistic BULLSHIT you mean. I am sorry but as far as I am concerned Valentines Day is nothing more than a HUGE marketing campaign aimed at a bunch of bleeding heart saps who just want to romanticize an ideal that most of the time just ceases to exist. Call me a cynic but that is just how I feel.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in love. True pure love is commitment and joy. There is passion, tenderness and intimacy that you don’t find in other relationships as well as a sensual unconditional love that everyone longs for. Amazing as it is, it is so hard to find but let’s face it, sometimes people have been burned so badly that it’s like we have some sort of scar tissue built up on our hearts and we become cautious and cynical seemingly giving up on what matters the most, so yeah I am a cynic, I’ll own it but I also know that it doesn’t take some commercial holiday to say I love you and show your love for those that matter to you. You can do that every day of the year.
It’s funny this holiday that is based on love and romance that we call St. Valentines is named after a holy priest of Rome who was apprehended and made to denounce his faith and beaten and beheaded on February 14th 270 AD. Let me tell you, if that doesn’t scream “hey let’s go buy some candy and flowers for my loved one” well I don’t know what does.
The commercialism of Valentines day has gotten way out of hand with anyone and everyone that seems to have come out with something to
sell. Everything from edible candy G-string/bra sets, fake poop in the shape of I ❤ you, the obvious cards, candy, flowers and jewelry, an extremely creepy “boyfriend pillow” that is a pillow with an anatomically correct arm (fingers and all) that wraps around you while you sleep…I am sure some could probably find use for that anatomically correct hand which brings me to one of the more popular gifts the classic vibrator, I mean who doesn’t want to get THAT on Valentines.
Some of you might be saying “Honey if my boyfriend is getting me that, he’s not doing something right“…but I’ll say don’t knock it till you try it. Hey, I’ll try anything at least once, but anyhow…..last but not least for your favorite stalker, here is the perfect gift ~ lingerie with a chastity belt equipped with GPS, I shit you not, I actually found this on the web. I really hope it was a joke but it wouldn’t surprise me if it wasn’t.
The claim from the more mainstream retailers that giving these gifts will make your love life perfect or better off or that it is “the ONLY way to express our love” just kind of makes most of us feel like a
pile of shit if we don’t go out and lay down a wad of cash at your local Hallmark, See’s Candies or Kay Jewelers. What about all the people that are single and DON’T receive anything? With all of the propaganda and fodder all over the place how can they not feel ostracized, unworthy or unloved…I mean the commercials kind of make you feel that way.
Statistically speaking 1 in 10 people under the age of 25 feel depressed and unwanted on Valentines, 2/5th of single people have negative feelings or are indifferent towards the holiday, four times as many men as women feel pressured into giving gifts and the worst; every day of the year 2 people under the age of 25 commit suicide but these numbers increase drastically around Valentines.
You see it is bad enough if you are a woman and things in your perfect little bubble don’t go exactly how you plan on Valentines but what about those people that have no one in their lives? If Valentines was not built up to be this day of love and perfection that is has no business being then maybe we could do without some of this heartache.
You know this doesn’t just start when we are older and have serious love interests. I remember being a kid and exchanging valentines at school. This was long before you all had to do the politically correct thing and make sure and get EVERYONE a valentine, so no one felt left out. Back in the day people just got valentines for the people they deemed worthy and those who weren’t worthy…well they were just shit out of luck. They were lucky to get the one valentine that everyone got from our teacher. I always felt so bad for them and usually broke down and gave up some of mine so some of the kids didn’t feel so bad, I think I fell somewhere in the middle of popular and not a complete loser but you know I wasn’t at the top of the food chain either. In any event, it’s a fact that the retailers like to start when we are young and groom us to feel like shit so when we get older and don’t have anyone, it won’t be so bad. We’ll be used to it by then.
So that brings us back to how the advertisers and retailers use our emotions and some of our expectations against us on this little day that truly has NOTHING to do with love. I hate to say it but being a woman I know all too well that we are the ones that have the expectations that often times just can’t be met. Our men feel so pressured to make us “happy” showering us with gifts that the whole idea of love gets tossed out the window. I mean some of the women are more concerned with whether they got a better gift from their boyfriend than their BFF or co-worker than the fact that their boyfriend just had to take a second fucking mortgage on his house just to take you out to that fancy restaurant, buy you candy and roses;
let’s not forget that Gucci bag with the diamond tennis bracelet tucked inside, etc. He had to do all of this because it was fucking VALENTINES??? Yeah, pretty much, whatever happened to grabbing a pizza, cuddling on the couch and watching a DVD? Hey throw in some candles and I’m good!!
Seriously, what is so special about this one day where retailers raise their prices x3 and guilt you into buying things you can’t afford and never would any other time? Retailers encourage you to demonstrate your love in hard
cold cash (or plastic) on February 14th and what I don’t understand is why you can’t or you shouldn’t show your love ALL year long. I mean seriously, I am a woman but I will be the first to tell you that diamonds, Gucci bags and proposals are nice ANY day of the year, TRUST ME.
Love is powerful, unconditional and when you say the words “I love you”, you need to have the desire to show someone that you love them, not what you simply want to feel. When you say it, make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for the one you love, because love should never be taken lightly it is the most important thing we will ever feel but that doesn’t mean you have to show them on an assigned day of the year that some retailer deems the right time to do it.
I remember when I was in junior high, we called Valentines “VD” probably knowing way back then it was like a horrible disease that you could never get rid of, kind of like herpes, it just keeps getting worse and worse as the years go on.
I am sure most of you are thinking I am a bitter old cat lady who is alone on Valentines and yeah you are half right. I will be alone as far as a man goes but you see I really don’t fucking care. I never have cared about Valentines, even when I was happily married. I was always looking forward to the day after which is my birthday and to me is a much more important day….now diamonds, Gucci bags and shit like that on February 15th, yeah that’s always great in my book but still not necessary.
These are NOT the things that show love. Do I like those things? Hell yeah but I would rather have a homemade dinner, drinks, candles and spending intimate moments with someone I care about and it can be done any day of the year for a whole lot less than going to some fancy crowded restaurant.
Just love the one your with when your with them and don’t let some ad company or retailer dictate how you should feel on a certain day of the year or pressure you into doing something you are not comfortable with. Girls don’t worry about what the chick that works down the hall got from her boyfriend because chances are he got pressured into getting it for her and he would have rather taken her to Burger King, bought her hot lingerie and fucked her brains out. It’s really NOT a competition to see how much your boyfriend loves you by what he buys you. If it is, then your relationship is kind of fucked.
Peace and non materialistic love ~ Nan